Archive for January, 2012

Goodbye, Wisdom Teeth!


Tomorrow I’m having all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. I am scared out of my mind. I haven’t been this anxious since the release of the last Twilight film.

I know I probably should’ve had them extracted years ago when I was in my prime, but they came in late and never really bothered me (for the most part). They all are fully erupted, but like with most people, can be tricky to keep clean. Especially the lone tooth that grew in on an angle and who’s roots are poking through my sinus wall. As big as my mouth is, it can be a pain to floss those suckers!

After thoughtful deliberation, and dentist’s recommendation, I’m chucking the suckers. Going under the knife in less than 12 hours. I really don’t want to have any major problems with them further down the road, so it’s now or never (thank goodness for insurance coverage).

The main phobia I have is suffering any permanent numbness, but I’m praying that everything will go well! Got my pantry stocked with Jell-O, yogurt, soups, ice-cream, pudding and quick-serve mashed potatoes anticipating the baby-food diet that I’ll have to endure for the next few days while my gums heal.

Perhaps I should’ve have watched those YouTube videos on wisdom teeth extraction before my appointment. I’m too curious for my own good. I hope I don’t chicken out before they put me to sleep.

Looking forward to eating a real meal once this is all over!

Guess Who’s Back (and with a Schticky)


Vince Offer, better known as the man who brought you the ShamWow and the Slap Chop (and later arrested for allegedly punching a prostitute), is back with a new infomercial. It’s the Schticky, a sheetless, reusable lint roller.

Got to love the usual one-liners and double entendres, like “Problem with that shedding pussy? Pick up cat hair from clothes!” There’s even an homage to his 1999 arrest in the recent infomercial.

I guess anyone can make a comeback…

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Germy Garments: Make sure you wash and wear


Over my holiday break I decided to make use of the post boxing-day sales and headed over to the local shopping mall. I noticed that Victoria’s Secret was having a really good sale, so I walked in and started rummaging through their nice selection of bras that they had organized in various bins near the front of the store.

The store was pretty busy. While looking to see whether my size was was hidden in one of the other bins, I heard a loud sneeze from beside me. I look over and there’s this woman cupping a bra in her hands. Then I heard the windup for yet another sneeze emitting from said lady. I used my peripherals and witnessed her sneeze directly into the bra she was holding.

Oh, but wait… she wasn’t done. Three loud, sinus clogged, sneezes later she continued to sneeze into the bra she was holding, as if the 34B was a hanker-chief and the cups were collecting her germ-ridden sternutations.

I watched in horror as she completed her sneeze-fit and placed the bra back in the bin.

Needless to say, if I didn’t already wash my intimates before I wear them, I’d be making damn sure that I do so now. Makes me shudder to think that just the previous week I was in the Victoria’s Secret fitting room trying on bras before I bought them. Especially for ladies, make sure you wash your intimates before you wear them the first time.

And if a sneeze-filled bra wasn’t a scary thought, I just came upon a report that was published a few years ago by Good Morning America discussing how exactly clean new clothes are when you buy them. Washing new clothes or running them though a hot dryer was one of the suggestions to get rid of possible bacteria.

Think about the type of people (like Sneezy McSneezerson up there) that may be trying on the same clothes off the rack before you purchase the same item. Keep that hand sanitizer handy, shoppers!